Your Changing Emotions
Life after divorce is full of ups and downs. This week, not gonna lie, there have been more downs! Navigating the ever-changing moods and challenges of my kids, often on my own, sometimes makes me feel like a boss: I have the independence to make decisions, the resourcefulness to handle what comes my way, and the freedom to choose how I parent. But other times, I feel lost and unsure, especially when I’m faced with my kids’ bad grades, bad moods, or their bad decisions that leave me feeling helpless.
Here’s how I cope when I wake up flooded with emotions I’d rather not face:
1. Feel all the feels: First, I let myself name and acknowledge my emotions. It’s important to give yourself permission to sit with what’s coming up—fear, frustration, confusion, loneliness, anger—whatever it is, it deserves space. I take 5–15 minutes to either journal or simply sit with my emotions. Doing this helps them run their course and can even offer unexpected insights.
2. Nothing is permanent: I remind myself that no feeling, no situation, is permanent. Whatever I’m experiencing now—be it loneliness or frustration—will pass. Emotions are temporary, and I can move through them, adjusting my mindset and letting go of one feeling to embrace another.
3. Resources are key: I tap into what keeps me grounded. I listen to podcasts that inspire my parenting, engage in physical activities to help me feel good in my body, and lean on friends who offer advice or just a listening ear. Whether it’s taking a walk, journaling with coffee in hand, or connecting with my other single mom friends, these moments of self-care are essential.
4. Shake it off: Physical movement is a game-changer. Shaking my body, shadowboxing, stretching, or going for a walk resets my nervous system and helps shift my mood.
Most importantly, don’t take it personally. It’s easy to think that these struggles are our fault—that our choices led us here. But I remind myself of the strength and empowerment that got me out of an unhappy marriage in the first place. Trust your resilience, your resourcefulness, and your innate goodness. You are more resilient than you know.
